What makes you childish

One of the simplest yet potent things we can do is to talk to the other person and be open to feedback.

Stop picking up the slack for your partner and engaging with them when they come up with excuses for poor choices. Below are some ways to be more assertive and set boundaries :. Talking through fears and insecurities can help someone develop more self-awareness about the effect their actions have on others.

If your partner is willing to work on themselves, addressing issues with a qualified therapist can help them identify their feelings and find healthy coping skills. Emotional maturity is defined by the ability to manage our emotions and take full responsibility for our actions. One foolproof sign? They keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. Find her at cindylamothe. Most people want a healthy relationship, but what does that really mean? Fear of commitment can pose a big challenge in long-term relationships.

Here's a guide to identifying potential commitment issues and overcoming them. A true narcissist will exhibit behaviors that…. Immature people can be thoughtless users or takers.

For example, they'll use friends for favors or car rides. It's not out of malice, but because they take for granted that whatever they want will be everyone else's top priority too. When you're a child your parents pay for most things. It's understandable that kids can't fully grasp the value of money, or the time and work it takes to earn it. They may assume someone will always buy them the things they need, or get mad because their parents can't get them some expensive new shoes at the drop of a hat.

You'll come across as immature if you're grown, but still expect other people to pay your way, or you don't seem to appreciate it when they buy something for you.

When you're a kid you have some toys and clothes to call your own, but the bigger items are all owned by adults. The idea of, say, treating the washing machine well so it lasts longer isn't on your radar.

For this reason kids and teenagers can give less consideration to other people's stuff. Like a fourteen-year-old may borrow a friend's video game, but leave the disc out when they're not using it and let it get scratched. You'll be seen as immature if you're still casually thoughtless with other people's things when you're older. Generally speaking, children and teenagers aren't as empathetic as adults that's not to say they're completely heartless, or that every grown up is a saint. Partially that's due to their egocentric orientation to life.

They also haven't had as much time to learn about other people's perspectives and struggles. One side effect of lower empathy is being tactless, and blurting out whatever pops into your head, without considering how it could impact other people.

This article covers a few others. One more worth mentioning in this piece is It's no secret that kids can be horrible to each other. Just being a jerk when you're older can cause everyone to see you as someone whose mind is still stuck in middle school. You'll seem particularly immature if you act douchey in a style associated with kids. A few examples: Teasing people over pointless things they can't control, like their unusual last name Mocking someone for having a positive trait, like being smart Annoying people for your own amusement e.

Oh my god, you're such a wimp! Ha ha, I bet you puke!!! They try to get out of it. They won't say what they did, and hope no one notices.

If they're confronted they may deny they had a part in it, or try to blame someone else. Even if they're given ironclad evidence they screwed up, they may refuse to admit what they did was wrong. When a mature adult makes a mistake they step up and try to make things right. Immature adults still behave like kids who will do anything to avoid "getting in trouble". Immature people also don't think anything is their fault. If they get reprimanded at their job for always being late, it's not that they need to work on their priorities or time management skills.

Their boss is a jerk and out to get them, and the traffic is bad, and there are long lines at the place where they stop to get coffee on the way to work. If they get into an argument with their partner they may say something like, "You made me get mad and snap at you.

Some kids go through a phase where they lie a lot for no reason other than it's a new thing they've realized they can do. Most people have had a high school classmate who B. And some adults have had that immature friend who still feels the need to spin elaborate tales about the high-end nightclub they're about to open. Kids are naturally distractible, have trouble sitting still, and quickly get bored if they're not being entertained.

People naturally get better at holding their attention and tolerating a lack of stimulation as their brains develop. There are some legitimate reasons someone may carry these traits into adulthood, like having ADHD.

However, at a glance someone might see them as a sign of immaturity. No one wants to be completely ignored, but overall adults don't need to constantly have the focus on them the way kids do.

Children will get antsy if the adults in the room talk just to each other for too long. They can have such a need to be acknowledged they can misbehave, to at least get unpleasant attention over none at all. Immature adults can have that same mentality where they feel uneasy if the conversation isn't centered on them, and sometimes act out to regain the spotlight.

Children like constant encouragment and praise. Think of how they can be motivated at school by gold star stickers. Adults enjoy validation of course, but they're better at operating without a constant supply of it.

Less-mature people still need a steady hit. They fish for compliments. They make social media posts to get pats on the back. They may be in a serious relationship, but still flirt all the time because they can't give up the rush of knowing someone's into them. By the time they're teenagers, kids can be pretty sick of authority figures. Parents, teachers, coaches, and other adults have been telling them what to do and thwarting their fun for years.

They can develop a knee-jerk attitude that anyone with any authority is a lame, out of touch buzzkill. They may purposely defy or annoy them to try to even the score in their mind. As most people get older their view toward authority softens.

They realize their boss may not be perfect, but is just a fellow adult who's trying to do their job. Less-mature people never lose that teenage mindset about anyone with power over them. They still see their supervisor as a cartoonishly strict teacher, and may feel compelled to talk back to them or engage in other petty acts of rebellion and defiance. They may see someone who gets along with their manager as a teacher's pet.

Similarly, adults can also seem immature if they still have a grade school mentality about rules, e. Following them means you're a wussy little goody goody" or "If someone breaks the rules the worst thing you can do is tattle on them. On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today. It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation.

Click here to go to the free training. These paint you as naive to older people, but are otherwise innocuous, unless you're really sure of your views in a grating way: Simply having less knowledge about aspects of adult life e. Getting overly excited about run of the mill adult activities or privileges e. Learning how to take criticism constructively is a huge part of emotionally maturing — but it's definitely not a skill you can learn in one day.

Repeat after me: you're never entitled to someone's affection or attention just because you're interested in them. Sometimes, arguments simply can't be avoided. But if you seek them out or actively engage in any argument that pops up, that could be a sign that you're not all that mature. It's inevitable that everyone will lose from time to time, but knowing how to lose gracefully — and also learn from that loss — is a sign of real emotional maturity.

Rather than bottling up their feelings and only passive-aggressively communicating them, mature adults are comfortable communicating directly and calmly. Even if you don't agree with someone, it's still important to respect their feelings instead of dismissing or invalidating them.

Ultimately, we're all immature in our own way, and have different areas that we need to improve on within ourselves. It might be hard to admit that you have self-improvement and emotional growth to do, but trust me: if you're willing to work on yourself and become a healthier, more mature, and emotionally aware person, you'll be much better off in the long run for it.